THE PARTY LORDS

"The 80's teen sex romp that simply should not be. Like if some time traveling art terrorists let Harmony Korine make Porky's."

----Garrett Cook, author of TIME PIMP.

"This book earned its place among my favorite bizarro books because of its nonstop laugh out loud humor and, believe it or not, its subtlety." ---M.P. Johnson, author of THE AFTER-LIFE STORY OF PORK KNUCKLES MALONE.

"Grimbol’s style is a mixture of youthful nostalgia, X-rated sexcapades with an uncomfortable touch of weirdness, real-life drama, hilarity, and a lot of heart." ---Gabino Iglesias, author of Gutmouth.

THE PARTY LORDS 

Published by Grindhouse Press

Available here.

People call him Buttcrack. He’s in his early thirties and he’s re-enrolled in high school. The other kids think he’s a creepy loser. One day a kid asks him to buy beer for his party and Buttcrack figures this is his chance to fit in. But he loses his wallet and the lady at the liquor store won’t sell him booze without an ID. To make things worse, his girlfriend won’t help and a group of crazed rednecks keep harassing him. But he’s a man on a mission. He’s determined to party with teenagers. No matter the cost!

Favorite reviews.

ErikaInstead’s Goodreads review:

Late one night, I opened a copy of The Party Lords on my Kindle. I wasn't ready to party. I was ready for bed. I had no intention of reading that night but this book had been recommended to me and I just wanted it bumped up on the "carousel" where I would remember it was the next book I wanted to make sweet, sweet brain love to. Well, there it was, spread wide before me, flaunting its goods in my face. Tempting me. My finger hovered over my Kindle's power button but I thought to myself, I'll just get a little taste. One page. Just one little page before I call it a night. But one page turned into several and several turned into several more. I just couldn't put the brakes on this party train. Before I knew it, 6 a.m. had arrived and I'd run out of pages to read. I also may or may not have found myself with a wicked craving for some Big Fun and wishing my parents had named me Momma Poonshine.

I'd been told this book was hilarious. And it is. Laugh out loud hilarious. I'm not just speaking figuratively here. Laughs were pouring out of my facehole. I loved everything about this book...the characters, the dialog, the descriptions of mutant anus. There's just something about the way Justin Grimbol writes, the way he states the most disgusting and absurd things in the most casual way that really tickles my funny bone. He does more than tickle it. He molests it with zit pus. 

So get your funny bone molestered. Read The Party Lords.

Danger Slater:

Before I even get into this review, I just want to say that this is the funniest fucking book I have ever read in my life! I laughed out loud several times while reading it. Shit, I more than laughed out loud. I was cracking up, gasping for air at points, alone, on my couch, in my lonely apartment. Laughing by yourself is weird. Especially when it isn’t provoked by the television or someone else’s conversation. There’s no noise to fill in all those gaps between the titters. Laughter in a vacuum. Laughter in space. Naked laughter, surrounded in silence; it’s a strangely reflective and cathartic experience. So thanks, Grimbol, for that.

Also, here’s a quick warning about The Party Lords: if you can’t find any literary merit in things like awkward boners, gallons of jizz, the eating and/or pleasuring of buttholes, and off-putting sex with half-human redneck mutants, you might need to rethink the meaning of your life. Yes, it’s puerile, but it’s handled here with aplomb. To enjoy this book, follow these simple instructions: Step 1. Remove the intellectual stick you’ve got stuck up your ass – and - Step 2: Insert a turkey baster in there instead.

So I’m not going do one of those plot-summary-type reviews here because I assume you have the capability to scroll this webpage upward and read the blurb for the book yourself. Did you do that? Good, let’s move on then. What I am going to do is talk about the three main characters in this book, the personal connection I felt towards all of them, and then hopefully, I’ll be able to tie the whole thing up with a thesis statement that answers the only real question this book poses: Is there anything to be learned from Buttcrack and the boys? 

Let’s start with the protagonist of this tale, Buttcrack. Buttcrack is a 30-year-old dude who has re-enrolled in high school for reasons either unmentioned or I can’t remember. It’s irrelevant, though. The point is, he’s an “old guy” who absolutely refuses to grow up. He doesn’t take his relationship with his girlfriend very seriously. He doesn’t take his friendships or future very seriously. He’s not looking to get all introspective about himself. He’s just...trying to live, somewhere in that middle place between being a carefree teen and an overburdened adult. As a 30-year-old “old guy” myself, who doesn’t take his relationships, shitty jobs, or future (or lack thereof) very seriously, Buttcrack is immediately relatable to me. Like Buttcrack, I’ve seen some of my friends change; become responsible and productive members or society, or whatever hackneyed phrase they use to signify that people have stopped being fun and have started becoming adults. And although I don’t think I’ve remained stagnant all these years, or that I haven’t grown as a person since my high school days because YES I’ve changed a little too – but I still look at my more “responsible” friends like they’re aliens. I mean, is there something wrong with ME because my priorities aren’t the same as theirs? I don’t want to make a lot of money, I don’t want to commute to work, I don’t want a “good job”, I don’t want a mortgage, wife and kids. This isn’t to say I won’t EVER want those things, or that I’ve been running from my own inevitable maturity. I’ve just looked inside myself and done what felt right for me. Does that make me Buttcrack? Yeah, maybe. But shit, man, what the fuck is adulthood anyway? I realized something while reading this book: Most adults are just kids in big people’s clothing. Adults don’t know shit. They just pretend they do. And when you’re little you listen to them because they act like they know what they’re talking about. REAL maturity is about self-reflection, and following the call within yourself, even if that bucks the grain. Even if that call means remaining immature. So thank you, Buttcrack, for that revelation. If you were real, you and I would be definitely be homies.

Next we move on to Ta-Bone, named so because he loves ta bone. This was my favorite character in the book. Ta-bone is a slightly awkward kid, fashioned in what I assume is the image of Stiles from Teen Wolf. That’s the original Michael J. Fox version of Teen Wolf I’m referring to, not that MTV soap-opera version they got going on now. Ta-Bone is constantly on a quest to get laid. An unquenchable libido, a blunt and fast-talker, and absolutely no standards at all. To read a character like Ta-Bone is a relief, of sorts - to be so straight-forward, so unabashed, so clear of vision, especially when it comes to something as metaphorically and physically messy as sex. A character like Ta-Bone is a nostalgia trip for me, as I’m pretty sure I was Ta-Bone back in my high school days. I’m pretty sure I’m still Ta-Bone today; you don’t want to see some of the fuglies I’ve had to sleep with. It’s exhausting being as sexually proficient as I am. HAHAHAHA. Pretty much all the lines that made me laugh out loud in this book were uttered by Ta-Bone. 

The invariable yin to Ta-Bone’s yang is Ralph. Ralph is a fat, nerdy, reserved kind of kid. If I was outwardly Ta-Bone back in high school, Ralph was who I was inside: Insecure. Anxiety-prone. Secretly hanging massive dong. Heh. Ralph is that little voice in your head when you’re barreling into a dangerous or uncomfortable situation, that little voice that says “Should we really be doing this?” Yeah, it’s kind of annoying, but a necessarily contrast. Necessary for self-preservation in real-life, and necessary for progressing the narrative and character arcs forward in the world of The Party Lords. He is a great addition to the motley crew of Buttcrack and Ta-Bone and a valuable component in their journey to find someone to buy them booze and get to the party at the Perfect Kid’s house.

Ok. You still with me here? This sprawling ramble-of-a-review has taken on Melvillian proportions. I’m about to wrap it up. I promise.

So what is my thesis? What did I learn from these three people? What is the point of this book and all the words I just wrote about it? Well...I suppose there really isn’t one, per se. Perhaps what I walked away from The Party Lords was is this: sometimes life is just about having fun. Big Fun. Perhaps that’s ALL life is about, in the end. And we don’t need to dive much deeper than that.